20101130
20101129
क्या मांगू
किसी और से क्या मांगू, मैं तुमसे मांगता हूँ, तुमसे क्या मांगू, मैं तो तुम्ही को मांगता हूँ!
20101128
funny
हैरी लन्दन के होटल में मुर्गी खाने गया पर मुर्गी का अंग्रेजी शब्द भूल गया.
Waiter - what do you like to have sir ?
Santa - Egg's Mother.... !!!
हैरी हवाईजहाज में सफर कर रहा था। एयरहोस्टेस ने मुस्कुराकर उसका अभिवादन किया।
अभिवादन का प्रत्युत्तर देते हुए हैरी ने कहा - आपकी शक्ल मेरी बीबी से काफी मिलती है।
इस बात पर एयरहोस्टेस ने उसे एक तमाचा जड़ दिया।
गाल सहलाते हुए हैरी ने कहा - शक्ल ही नहीं, आदत भी मिलती है ....
Waiter - what do you like to have sir ?
Santa - Egg's Mother.... !!!
-----------
हैरी हवाईजहाज में सफर कर रहा था। एयरहोस्टेस ने मुस्कुराकर उसका अभिवादन किया।
अभिवादन का प्रत्युत्तर देते हुए हैरी ने कहा - आपकी शक्ल मेरी बीबी से काफी मिलती है।
इस बात पर एयरहोस्टेस ने उसे एक तमाचा जड़ दिया।
गाल सहलाते हुए हैरी ने कहा - शक्ल ही नहीं, आदत भी मिलती है ....
meals-on-wheels
A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the pearly gates, petted
Her on the head and said, you have been a good cat for these 40 years.
Anything you want is yours for the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and replied, all my life i have lived on
A farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy
Pillow to sleep on.
God said, say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all
Went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of heaven with the
Same offer he made to the cat.
The mice said, well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats
And even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller
Skates, we'd never have to run again.
God said, it is done! All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, god decided to check on the cat. He found her
Sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked,
Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?
The cat replied, oh, i've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is
So fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over are Delicious!
Her on the head and said, you have been a good cat for these 40 years.
Anything you want is yours for the asking.
The cat thought for a minute and replied, all my life i have lived on
A farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy
Pillow to sleep on.
God said, say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all
Went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of heaven with the
Same offer he made to the cat.
The mice said, well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats
And even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller
Skates, we'd never have to run again.
God said, it is done! All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, god decided to check on the cat. He found her
Sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked,
Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?
The cat replied, oh, i've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is
So fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over are Delicious!
Jail
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.
"What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?"
"Yes, I do remember," she replied.
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."
"What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?"
"Yes, I do remember," she replied.
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."
Good Morning
________ღ♥http://www.funandbliss.com/ღ♥
______ღ♥________________________ ღ♥
___ღ♥big____heart____of_________ goldღ♥
__ღ♥nice_______honest_______kindheartedღ♥
_ღ♥funny___________**____________laughღ♥
_ღ♥cool____________V_________best friendღ♥
_ღ♥trust_____ ____________________fun. ღ♥
__ღ♥sweet________ ____________specialღ♥
___ღ♥talent_________________amazingღ♥
____ღ♥inspire_______________happyღ♥
______ღ♥care___________beautifulღ♥
________ღ♥unique_________loveღ♥
__________ღ♥best_____goodღ♥
_____________ღ♥_ smile_ ღ♥
_______________ღ♥__ ღ♥
________________ღ♥ღ♥
______ღ♥________________________ ღ♥
___ღ♥big____heart____of_________ goldღ♥
__ღ♥nice_______honest_______kindheartedღ♥
_ღ♥funny___________**____________laughღ♥
_ღ♥cool____________V_________best friendღ♥
_ღ♥trust_____ ____________________fun. ღ♥
__ღ♥sweet________ ____________specialღ♥
___ღ♥talent_________________amazingღ♥
____ღ♥inspire_______________happyღ♥
______ღ♥care___________beautifulღ♥
________ღ♥unique_________loveღ♥
__________ღ♥best_____goodღ♥
_____________ღ♥_ smile_ ღ♥
_______________ღ♥__ ღ♥
________________ღ♥ღ♥
love
Wife : How much do you love me ?
Hubi : Like Shahjahan
Wife : Will you build a TajMahal for me if I die ?
Hubi : I have already purchase the land,
The delay is only from your side.
The delay is only from your side.
20101126
पति पत्नी
मरते समय पति ने अपने पत्नी को सब कुछ सच बताना चाहा । उस ने कहा " मै तुम्हे जीवन भर धोखा देता रहा। सच तो यह है कि दर्जनो औरतों से मेरे नाजायज संबंध थे।"
पत्नी बोली, "मै भी सच बताना चाहूँगी । तुम बीमारी से नही मर रहे मैने तुम्हे धीरे-धीरे असर करने वाला जहर दिया है।"
~*~*~*~
पत्नी, जब तुम तेजी से कार चलाते हुए टर्निग लेते हो तो, मुझे बहुत डर लगता है कि कही ट्क्कर न लग जाए।
बेवकूफ औरत! पति ने समझाया डरो मत, ऐसे मौको पर मेरी तरह तुम भी चुपचाप आंखे बंद कर लिया करो।
~*~*~*~
पत्नी ( पति से) देखो जी, अगर तुम मेरे साथ नही चलोगे, तो मै भी शोपिंग के लिए नही जाऊगी।
क्या तुम्हे मेरे साथ जाना इतना अच्छा लगता है पति ने खुश हो कर कहा ।
अच्छा-वच्छा कुछ नही, पत्नी ने मुँह बनाते हुए कहा, सामान ऊठाने वाला भी तो कोई होना चाहिए।
Marriage Bureau
Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai:
Rishtey ke liye 1 dabaye, Mangni ke liye 2 dabaye, Shadi ke liye 3 dabaye.
Harry : Hum Doosri Shadi ke liye kya dabaun?
Doosri shadi ke liye pehle wali ka gla dabaye ..!
Rishtey ke liye 1 dabaye, Mangni ke liye 2 dabaye, Shadi ke liye 3 dabaye.
Harry : Hum Doosri Shadi ke liye kya dabaun?
Doosri shadi ke liye pehle wali ka gla dabaye ..!
रामायण
हवलदार- सर ,कल रात कैदियों ने जेल में रामायण की थी
जेलर- तो इसमें इतने परेशान क्यू हो ?
हवलदार- सर, हनुमान बना कैदी अभी तक संजीवनी लेकर वापस नहीं आया.
20101125
जन्नत की सैर
पति जलता-भुनता आया और पत्नी से बोला - 'हमें यह फ्लैट बदलना पड़ेगा। क्योंकि चौक में खड़ा मकान मालिक का लड़का, जोर-जोर से कह रहा है कि एक को छोड़कर इमारत की हर औरत के साथ वह जन्नत की सैर कर चुका है।
पत्नी ने सोचकर कहा - 'वह जरूर बीस नंबर के फ्लैट वाली निगोडी शकुंतला होगी।
पत्नी ने सोचकर कहा - 'वह जरूर बीस नंबर के फ्लैट वाली निगोडी शकुंतला होगी।
ब्रिज
एक भारतीय सांसद अमेरिकी सीनेटर के बुलावे पर अमेरिका गया.
सांसद " यार तुम्हारा घर तो एक दम शानदार है. इतना पैसा कहाँ से लाते हो ?"
सीनेटर " रास्ते में तुमने एक बड़ा ब्रिज देखा था ?"
सांसद " हां देखा था वो तो बहुत बड़ा और शानदार था "
सीनेटर " ये घर उसके १०% में से बनवाया है "
सांसद " वाह वाह ! भाई वाह वाह ! "
कुछ दिन बाद वही सीनेटर भारत आया तो उसी सांसद के घर जाना हुआ.
सीनेटर " यार तुम्हारा घर तो बिलकुल महल की तरह बना हुआ हैं. इतना पैसा कहाँ से लाते हो ?"
सांसद " रास्ते में तुमने एक बड़ा ब्रिज देखा था ?"
सीनेटर " नहीं रास्ते में तो कोई ब्रिज नहीं था "
सांसद " होगा कहां से ? सारा तो इस घर में लगवा दिया "
सांसद " यार तुम्हारा घर तो एक दम शानदार है. इतना पैसा कहाँ से लाते हो ?"
सीनेटर " रास्ते में तुमने एक बड़ा ब्रिज देखा था ?"
सांसद " हां देखा था वो तो बहुत बड़ा और शानदार था "
सीनेटर " ये घर उसके १०% में से बनवाया है "
सांसद " वाह वाह ! भाई वाह वाह ! "
कुछ दिन बाद वही सीनेटर भारत आया तो उसी सांसद के घर जाना हुआ.
सीनेटर " यार तुम्हारा घर तो बिलकुल महल की तरह बना हुआ हैं. इतना पैसा कहाँ से लाते हो ?"
सांसद " रास्ते में तुमने एक बड़ा ब्रिज देखा था ?"
सीनेटर " नहीं रास्ते में तो कोई ब्रिज नहीं था "
सांसद " होगा कहां से ? सारा तो इस घर में लगवा दिया "
Cricket
A Husband makes a Call to Hospital to enquire about his pregnant wife.
But accidentally the call went to a cricket stadium.
He asked what is the condition.
He died after what he heard.
Guess What would be the reply....
It is...
7 are already out.
3 More will be out hopefully by lunch.
and.................................
The first one was a DUCK.
But accidentally the call went to a cricket stadium.
He asked what is the condition.
He died after what he heard.
Guess What would be the reply....
It is...
7 are already out.
3 More will be out hopefully by lunch.
and.................................
The first one was a DUCK.
20101124
ha ha
Bahut der ke baad train chali,
Muslim Bola : Ya Ali,
Hindu Bola : Jai bajrang bali,
Harry Bola : Kya Ali, kya Bali?
Paglo, train to baju wali chali…!!!
__________
QATIL: Try Krna Umar Qaid Ho, Phansi Na Ho.
Lawyer: Don't Worry.
After Court:
QATIL: Kia hua?
Lawyer: Bohat Mushkil Se Umar qaid Hoi, Adalat To Riha Kar Rahi Thi!
Muslim Bola : Ya Ali,
Hindu Bola : Jai bajrang bali,
Harry Bola : Kya Ali, kya Bali?
Paglo, train to baju wali chali…!!!
__________
QATIL: Try Krna Umar Qaid Ho, Phansi Na Ho.
Lawyer: Don't Worry.
After Court:
QATIL: Kia hua?
Lawyer: Bohat Mushkil Se Umar qaid Hoi, Adalat To Riha Kar Rahi Thi!
20101123
20101120
Adv
Pati ke Mrne ke Next day,
Wife Ne Paper Me Ad diya:
Antim Sanskar Me Shamil Hue
Sab Logo Ko Thanks
FR0M:
Shalu(32), 97164893749
Height 5'2", 36-24-36
Rang Gora, Bache Nahi
Boss
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough .
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy .
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative, he is proactive.
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets.
-Manoj Kumar Modi Jhunjhunu
20101117
facts of life
In our country..
Most of the 1st divison students get technical seats.
Become doctors & engineers.
.
.
The 2nd division pass MBA.
Become administrators & controls 1st divisons.
.
.
The 3rd division enter politics.
Become ministers & controls both.
.
&
.
The failures..
Join the underworld & controls all
Time
LOGIC OF TIME:
When time never stops for us,
Then why do we always
wait for the right time..?
No time is wrong to do the right thing..!!
Bhagwan Mahaveer
Insan ko Bolna Sikhne Me 2 Saal Lagte Hai..
Lekin Kya Bolna hai..
Yeh Sikhne Me Poori Jindagi Nikal Jati Hai...
20101116
Name
Best words of Hitler:
"You Are Born Without Anything,
But You Die With your Name...
So Don't Let dat Name Be Just A Word,
Make It History".
kalyugi
Ramchandra keh gaye siya se,
Aisa kalyug aayega...
Aisa kalyug aayega...
Ramchandra keh gaye siya se,
Aisa kalyug aayega,
Kahan hua tha mera janam
Ab SUPREME COURT batayega
funny
Parry apni wife se : aaj 4 baje kutto ki race hai, mujhe vaha jana hai.
Jeeto : rehne do, thik se chala jata nahi aur race lagaoge...!!!
Interesting!
Amazing information:
The letters A, B, C and D, do not appear
in the spellings of 1 TO 99.
The D appears 1st time in HUNDRED.
'A' appears 1st time in THOUSAND.
'B' appears 1st time in BILLION,
'C' appears 1st time in CRORE.
Interesting!
20101115
नटवर नागर नंदा
नटवर नागर नंदा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
श्याम सुंदर मुख चंदा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
तू ही नटवर तू ही नागर
तू ही बाल मुकन्दा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
सब देवन में कृष्ण बड़े हें
ज्यों तारों में चंदा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
सब सखियों में राधा जी बड़ी हें
ज्यों नदियों में गंगा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
मीरा के प्रभु गिरधर नागर
काटो यम का फंदा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
वृदावन में रास रचायो
नाचत बाल मुकन्दा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
ध्रुव तारे प्रह्लाद उबारे
नरसिंह रूप धर्ता
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
पल दो पल तुम सत्संग करलो
पल दो पल तुम गीता पड़ लो
छोड़ के गोरख धंदा
भजो रे मन गोविंदा
20101114
Life
Life is not an i-pod to listen to your favorite songs...
It is a radio..
you must adjust yourself to every frequency
and enjoy whatever comes in it
shayri
Badlon ke beech Aaisi Sazish huyi,
Mera Ghar Mitti ka tha aur wahin Barish huyi.
Badlon ki Fitrat thi Pani bahane ki aur
Hmari bhi Zidd thi wahin Aashiyana Bnane ki....
zindagi
Zindgi to sabhi ke liye wahi rangeen kitab hai
Fark bas itna hai
ki
Kisi ne har panne ko dil se padha
aur
kisi ne bas panne palat liye.
20101111
jokes
बच्चा अपने दोस्त से बोलाः कल मेरे घर लडका पैदा होगा !
दोस्तः वाह, क्या बात कर रहे हो, पर तुम्हे कैसे पता की लडका ही पैदा होगा ।
बच्चा बोलाः अरे साफ है, पिछली दफा मेरी मम्मी को पेट दर्द हुआ था और उसके अगले दिन मेरी मम्मी को लडकी पैदा हुई ।
इस बार मेरे पापा को पेटदर्द हो रहा है, तो बात साफ है कि लडका ही पैदा होगा !
++++++++++++++++++
महिला दंतचिकित्सक के पास गई और बोलीः डा. साहब डाढ़ निकलवानी है, और अगर बगैर सुन्न किये, ये कार्य करेंगे तो फीस थोडी कम होगी ना ?
डा. साहबः जी हां, फीस आधी होगी ।
महिला दरवाजे पर खडे एक मरियल से मिमियाते डरते हुए व्यक्ति से बोलीः सुनो जी, आ जाओ, बेठो इस कुर्सी पर ।
20101110
Problems
Never tell Ur Problems to any one
Except the one Who Genuinely Loves you....
Because 20% people Dont Care &
other 79% People are Glad that U have Problem..
Thats truth.
--
Problem can either
MAKE YOU
or
BRAKE YOU
The Hammer that brakes glass
Can shape steel
Its up to us to be glass of steel
Have a will power of steel
and
vision of Glass
no limits
A man was polishing his new car.
His 4 yr son picked stone & scratched lines on d side of car
In anger d man took d child's hand & hit it many times
not realizing he was using a wrench
At d hospital d child lost all his fingers due 2 multiple fractures
When d child saw his father with painful eyes he asked
Dad when will my fingers grow back ?
Man was so hurt & speechless
He went back 2 d car & kicked it many times
Devastated by his own actions
sitting in front of d car he looked at d scratches, child had written
'LOVE YOU DAD'
Next day that man committed suicide.
Moral : Anger & Love have no limits.
डॉक्टर
रोगी (डॉक्टर से)- डॉक्टर आप मेरे मित्र हैं। आपको फीस देते हुए संकोच होता है। इसलीये मैंने सोचा है की अपने वसीयतनामे में मैं आपका यह कर्जा भी चुका दूं। आज मैंने वह वसीयतनामा भी तैयार करा दीया है।
डॉक्टर (रोगी से)- अगर ऐसी बात है ग्रोवर साहब, तो मैं आज से आपकी दवा भी बदल रहा हूं।
-----
रमेश (डॉक्टर से)- डॉक्टर साहब! ये फूलों की माला किस के लिए ?
डॉक्टर (रमेश से)- ये मेरा पहला ऑपरेशन है, सफल हुआ तो मेरे लिए, नहीं तो तुम्हारे लिए ।
डॉक्टर (रोगी से)- अगर ऐसी बात है ग्रोवर साहब, तो मैं आज से आपकी दवा भी बदल रहा हूं।
-----
रमेश (डॉक्टर से)- डॉक्टर साहब! ये फूलों की माला किस के लिए ?
डॉक्टर (रमेश से)- ये मेरा पहला ऑपरेशन है, सफल हुआ तो मेरे लिए, नहीं तो तुम्हारे लिए ।
स्वाद
पति : कैसी सब्जी बनाईं है , बिल्कुल गोबर जैसा स्वाद है !
पत्नी : हे भगवन ! न जाने इन्होने क्या - क्या खा के देखा हुआ है .
गोबर का स्वाद भी पता है ..
पत्नी : हे भगवन ! न जाने इन्होने क्या - क्या खा के देखा हुआ है .
गोबर का स्वाद भी पता है ..
Life
Life is a Football Game & we are all Footballs.
Never mind the
kicks of other People.
Because without those kicks,
we may not reach our GOAL !
Life is great travel trip...
Problem is that ... it does not come with map...
we have to search
our own ways to reach the destination....
Problem is that ... it does not come with map...
we have to search
our own ways to reach the destination....
Sindhi
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood on standby. As the Arab had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally.
So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sindhi was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Sindhi as a token of his appreciation a new Rolls, diamonds, Bulgari jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of almond halwa.
The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.
The Arab replied "Chariya...now I have Sindhi blood in my veins !"
So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sindhi was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Sindhi as a token of his appreciation a new Rolls, diamonds, Bulgari jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of almond halwa.
The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.
The Arab replied "Chariya...now I have Sindhi blood in my veins !"
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)